This is the first blog post. What am I going to write? I am going to write about reconnecting with one's natural inner rhythms. What is an inner rhythm? It is your preferred way to flow. Your preferred time to wake up, go to sleep, eat, be active, rest. All around us we see the norms of various kinds. The approved way to be, to talk, to work, to interact. What if your way doesn't exactly match the norm you see around you? As a foreigner, I know a lot about this. Just by living in a foreign country, every day I am faced with cultural nuances that are foreign to me. People smile and say hi, ask how you are but don't really want to hear how you really are. I step into the elevator and everyone expects that I be bubbly and make small talk. What if I don't want to make small talk today? Well, but it's also true that complete ignorance and arrogantly pushing only my way is also not the answer. So what does balance look like? How do I be me and also have relationships with people around me, whether they be close or casual? Where is the line that I can flexibly move to have a wider or closer boundary? It is my feeling. My feeling toward people and things and events around me. That's how I keep in touch with me. By being aware of what my feeling is toward whatever is in front of me. Do I like this person? Am I afraid of them? Do I feel drawn in or repelled? Do I want to say a lot or a little? I notice I have feelings in every moment. I may not notice what they are. But then I remember to check and as I focus and ask myself, how am I feeling right now? I can hear and sense the feelings that bubble up to the surface. For example, I'm really enjoying this right now. I really would rather be doing something else. Or, I'm still thinking about what happened this morning or yesterday or a week ago. I may feel tired even though I just slept the whole night. Or I may feel irritated by the same routines and would like a new experience today. Then I can ask myself, what would be helpful to me right now? Let's take the example where I feel tired even though I just slept the whole night. I may decide that today a gentle, easy yoga may feel better to me than a 45-minute run. Or it may be the opposite, and the run would wake me up while the yoga would put me back to sleep. It really depends on the day. Sometimes the yoga is the answer and sometimes the run is the answer. It's actually nice that it's not always the same answer to the same question. That would be boring. Because how I feel changes and what I need or would be helpful to me also changes, the inquiry is always exciting and curious because I wonder what the answer will be today. The benefit of connecting with my feelings is that I may feel overwhelmed or overstimulated when I am not aware of what I am feeling, and once I inquire and find out, I often feel a great sense of relief. The possibility of that sense of relief is what keeps me coming back to the process of inquiring into my inner experiences.
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